Category: eBooks Converted and Formatted By Us
Author: Leonard Kennard
Price: 0

Description

The setting is North London, the time- now. Laurence is a damaged character with several neuroses. He has written a book- Return to Valhalla-but such is his fear of engaging in the publishing circus he cannot bring himself to submit it. He has a good friend, James whose hobby is amateur dramatics. Laurence sees James in a production of The Mikado and begins to see a possible solution. He persuades James, in his Japanese persona, to impersonate him as the author, believing that the book from a ‘foreign’ writer stands a better chance of acceptance.

It is accepted, James attends meetings with the publishers only to find that their marketing director is Japanese. This leads to a number of complications. Laurence, following a meeting with Ukoyo Mangeshi (Ukky), the Japanese marketing director, decides to ‘come clean’. He also finally agrees to live with Sophie his long term girlfriend in her windmill, Living in a calm environment and with the help of Colin, a sounding board for his anxieties, he comes to terms with the challenges that publication will present him with.

The author uses Laurence to tilt at the ugliness of our present society, the attitude of some publishers towards new authors and various other personal dislikes. Laurence loves polysyllabic words and overuses figures of speech such as alliteration. The author hopes that this literary device, although it makes Laurence appear to be pompous is recognised as simply a cover for his many insecurities. The author also hopes that this device will add to the humour.

Date insert: Monday, 30 January 2023

T'was the Night Before Christmas... 

 (With apologies to Clement Clarke Moore, may he forgive my doggerel...)

...and all through the shop,
all we minions were working,
   until ready to drop.

The ebooks were flying,
the covers were spare,
The edits were crazy,
   with "one more thing I must share!"

We waited for Santa,
'Cuz we love old Saint Nick,
But Hitch made us work,
   Waving 'round an old stick!

So slave we all did,
And made all your books,
So that Hitch would say now,
   that we're off the hook.

Come today we're off,
to rest up our fingers,
Our hats we will doff,
   No books they do linger.

But we'll all be back,
Don't give it a thought,
for like all wage slaves,
   we're easily bought.

We'll be back on the fifth,
all eager and fresh,
All ready for you,
   after a well-deserved rest.

So Hitch wants to say,
very strongly and loud,
THANKS ALL YOU GUYS,
  you're the best type of crowd.

Indy and Len and Hitch and the gang,
will be back on the 5th,
to do books with a BANG!

In the meantime don't worry,
if you're in a hurry,
'cuz some poor guy got stuck
   sitting here like a duck.

Your emails we'll receive,
so no need to grieve.
We'll be a bit slow,
but we're raring to go.

Your books will be worked on,
your edits still made,
we're just resting a bit,
   before we all fade.

So please excuse the delays;
It won't be for days;
we'll jump on your queries,
   for your wondrous new series.

We waited for Santa,
'Cuz we love old St. Nick,
And sure 'nuff he came,
   It wasn't a trick.

And as he rode off,
into the night,
I could swear I heard Hitch yell,
   "That Edit's Not Right!"

~~~~~~~~~~

We'll be back on the morning of January 5th; we'll be here parttime between now and then, thanks.